Canadian Election Haiku

If you’re not from Canada, you may have heard we had an election recently, if for no other reason than John Oliver – Canadian election calling our “short” election period “adorable” and imploring us not to re-elect Stephen Harper, with the help of Mike Myers dressed in a mountie outfit driving a snow plow.


In any case Canadian politics can seem somewhat bewildering to outsiders, but my good American friend Jaime and I found a way to bridge this communications gap: by conversing entirely in haiku. Canadian election haiku, to be exact. Jaime’s are in blue and mine are in red. So, without further adieu, I present:

The Canadian Election 2015 Haiku Series

Autumn leaves above
Fall and paint our landscape red

As autumn leaves fall,
Beauty in the end of things.
Harper? Good riddance.

Where it all began
This red tide from coast to coast
A newfoundlandslide

American peeps:
Canadian politics?
Your PM is hot.

Oh, Canada!
Just not ready? Just watch me.
The red steel to Zoolander’s blue steel
Shirtless JT might give shirtless Putin a run for his money...
Our shirtless PM might give Russia’s shirtless president a run for his money…

New Justin to love
Trudeau sweeps us off our feet
Bieber? So last year.

Harper: “It’s my fault.”
All other Canadians:
“Ya don’t say, Sherlock?”

Harper and Mulcair
Sharing beers in memory
Of their shattered dreams

Sweet maple syrup
How beautifully you flow
Like Steve Harper’s tears.

Canada’s Jon Snow
He’s our Stark in Ottawa
Winter is coming

John Snow and Justin Trudeau.
A couple years ago I compared Justin Trudea to Jon Snow in “A Game of Thrones Primer for Canadian Politics”… hopefully Justin Trudeau’s story has a better… outcome… than Jon Snow’s.

And finally, an epilogue for those humans of all parties (yes they are all humans despite what you may think of some of them), who woke up Tuesday morning without jobs due to the election outcome:

Red, orange, green or blue
You worked hard, and we thank you…  
But that’s politics.

Want to add your own haiku about the Canadian election?  I’d love to hear yours in the comments…  

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