Threads

Tonight I was invited to share a bit of my life story with a group of friends. I’ve shared parts of my story many times before, including all around this blog. However, it was the first time in a long time where, in the course of telling my story, I didn’t feel compelled to talk too much about The Story.

Of course, my life is still very much split into “The Before Times” and “The After Times” of that pivotal calamity. I can’t get very far in talking about my life without at least mentioning it, otherwise things just don’t make sense.

“What if the great secret insider-trading truth is that you don’t ever get over the biggest losses in your life? …The pain does grow less acute, but the insidious palace lie that we will get over crushing losses means that our emotional GPS can never find true north, as it is based on maps that no longer mention the most important places we have been to.”

Anne Lamott

The thing is, the farther out I get, the more I am able to see that event as part of the thread weaving through my life rather than the end or beginning.

Of course, it was both an end and a beginning, but not the only one or even the most important one anymore.

As I look back on the many threads of interwoven experiences, people and moments that have led me here, that part of my overall story — while a significant part — is still just one part of the greater whole.

So I mentioned it, but didn’t go into too much detail. It’s not avoidance, or forgetting — that is not the sort of thing one just forgets, or “gets over,” (as Anne Lamott so eloquently explained).

But somehow, it does feel like progress.