Recalculating

There was an amazing Jeep ad awhile back playing with the theme of Google Maps’ constant recalculating:

“In 300 metres turn left… Recalculating.”

“Go straight to a steady job… Recalculating.”

(Woman looks at positive pregnancy test)… “Recalculating.”

You get the idea. In the last few years of my life, I have had to do a LOT of recalculating. My ad would look something like this:

“Go straight to a lifelong marriage… (Have your heart shattered into dust.) Recalculating.”

“Be accepted into several prestigious international grad school programs… (Lose all hope of financial support.) Recalculating.”

“Fly across the ocean possibly never to return… (Get a job offer back at the place you came from.)  Recalculating.”

“Find a job you love, getting paid to take people on adventures… (Have your foot shattered into more than five pieces and your greatest adventure reduced to the twice-daily fight against able-bodied people for a seat on transit in rush hour.) Recalculating.”

I’ve always been a fairly adaptable, flexible, and easygoing person, however even for me, some of these forced recalculations have been incredibly difficult to withstand. I think I’m getting better at it, though.

Better at letting go and moving on.

Better at looking forward to what’s ahead instead of regretting what’s behind.

Better at focusing on what I can choose rather than lamenting the choices of others (or for that matter, the choices of my past self).

Better at knowing when to open my arms to the wind, and when to turn my back on it. When to let it help me fly, and when to let it knock me over.

Better at knowing when to walk through open doors, and when to walk away from closing ones.

I’m getting better, but I’m still not there… wherever there is.

I’m still recalculating.

car and rainbow - calvin-chou-189026-unsplash
There’s a rainbow this way so it seems like as good a direction to choose as any.

 

 

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