I caught myself, for just a second, wishing for “happier times.”
Happier times, when I wasn’t broken.
Happier times, when he was by my side.
Happier times, when… when…
It’s true, I have never felt more pain, more brokenness, more utter sadness, than in this aftermath of the story I wish I never had to tell.
But I have also never felt more carried. This has been the overwhelming sensation – one of being held up by those around me, the people who have come from every corner of my life to support me, uplift me, spend time with me, encourage me, carry me.
I look around at the bustle of Christmas, the magical snow, the people surrounding me with love and laughter, and I am chastened:
These are “happier times.”
Happier times to look back on. Happier times to look forward to. Happier times to enjoy right now.
Thank you to everyone who is helping me make these times happy. Merry Christmas!